Tag Archives: weird


1 Jun

Subject: Gatecrasher
Real Name: Gatecrasher
Height: 8’3″ Weight: 1111lbs.
Group Affiliation: Technet
First AMERICAN Appearance: Excalibur Special Edition #1, 1988

Power Ratings:

  • Energy Projection: 1/7
  • Mental Powers: 2/7
  • Strength: 3/7
  • Fighting Ability: 3/7
  • Intelligence: 2/7

I’d been chastised in the past for giving Excalibur characters the short end of the stick, and really if I knew them better I’d have more to say. In fact when going through the convoluted, self-serious stories of the late 80’s X-Books the kooky and otherwise self-contained Excalibur stories (at least until they got more integrated into the mutant storyline in the early 90’s) were sometimes welcome respites.

The thing that really makes the Excalibur characters (especially the villains) tough to read about is not only were they not really part of the mutant books, many of them didn’t even last very long. Gatecrasher and Technet were leftovers from Claremont’s Marvel UK Captain Britain books that were in their own little island, so much so that Gatecrasher’s card refers only to her first American appearance in 1988, when she had debuted back in 1985.

You can tell by these cards that Lee couldn’t care less about the character; the art is sloppy, with Liefeld-style crosshatching on her stump of a foot. Likewise, the X-Tra Fact refers to an ever-present lizard-like companion on Gatecrasher’s shoulder, and yet the art does not depict this. And finally, for an eight-foot-three, 1111-pound big bertha whose bio refers to her “great strength,” I’m kind of disappointed that she’d only have a 3/7 Strength power rating.


27 Apr

Subject: Cerise
Real Name: Cerise
Height: 5’11” Weight: 125 lbs.
Group Affiliation: Excalibur
First Appearance: Excalibur #47, January 1992

Power Ratings:

  • Energy Projection: 3/7
  • Mental Powers: 1/7
  • Strength: 3/7
  • Fighting Ability: 6/7
  • Intelligence: 2/7

Unlike the other Excalibur characters whose existence annoyed the hell out of me, Cerise is a character who doesn’t even ring a bell for me to resent having to review her card. At most I thought she was a villain, which she apparently was not, though she seemed plenty anti-heroic. Doesn’t help that she’s actually the last character in the “Heroes” category (you can guess who the first villain will be).

Anyway, Cerise seems like a nice enough lady, so to cut her a little bit more slack than the others, I’m gonna do something special for her and just transcribe her character bio:

A daughter of the Subruki, Zarstok, and Kuli Ka tribes and warrior of the Ghrand Jhar, cerise is one of the many extradimensional visitors that have arrived on Earth via the dimensional nexus point that exists in the lighthouse headquarters of Excalibur. Able to wield crimson energy fields in a variety of shapes, from a powerful blast to defensive walls, Cerise has become one of the mightiest new members of that British super hero group!

X-Tra Fact: Cerise travels between dimensions in insect-like battle armor!

Oh, and just as a matter of decorum: art looks fine*, Power Ratings would be commented on if I actually knew the character.

*The front of the card is not only signed by Jim Lee, but also by (what quick googling revealed to be) Paul Mounts, the colorist (?). This is the only card I can recall so far that had more than just Lee’s signature in it.


20 Apr

Subject: Widget
Real Name: Widget
Height: 6′ Weight: variable
Group Affiliation: Excalibur
First Appearance: Excalibur #1, October 1988

Power Ratings:

  • Energy Projection: 2/7
  • Mental Powers: 1/7
  • Strength: 2/7
  • Fighting Ability: 1/7
  • Intelligence: 2/7

Like another inconsequential Excalbur teammate prior, I’m just not even gonna bother here.