X-Cards the Spot

Subject: Dazzler
Real Name: Alison Blaire
Height: 5’8″ Weight: 115 lbs.
First Appearance: Uncanny X-Men #130, February 1980

Power Ratings:

• Energy Projection: 4/7
• Mental Powers: 1/7
• Strength: 2/7
• Fighting Ability: 3/7
• Intelligence: 2/7

In a way this post is the culmination of all the work I’ve put into this blog, thus far at least (I know you guys can’t wait for me to review the Checklist card). As I’d alluded before with the Longshot card, I’ve developed a soft spot for X-Men‘s more ridiculous characters, ones that don’t hold up to face value across the sands of time. DAZZLER is the pinnacle of this.

My renewed affection for Dazzler came when I was reading collections of Chronological X-Men (google it if you don’t know what that is). In the midst of the Dark Phoenix saga,  at the height of X-Men’s resurgence under the team of Chris Claremont and John Byrne, Marvel decides to introduce a mutant for our (their) time: disco queen Allison Blaire, aka the Dazzler.

The very definition of synergy, Dazzler sprung from an epic collaboration between Marvel and Casablanca Records, to have spanned a comic book, toys, disco records, and a movie (Bo Derek had been tapped to play her real-life appearance). Of course, by the time of her first appearance in February 1980, disco was already on its way out. Casablanca pulled out of the project, but Marvel decided to launch as a monthly series anyway, perhaps hoping to at least continue riding the mutant mania, her series lasting an otherwise miraculous 42 issues (the tag for issue #42 declares “Because you demanded it, the LAST issue of the Dazzler!”)

The comics were ridiculous and insipid, and whatever charming sincerity was found in the book seemed more a manifestation of the creators’ desperation to not concede defeat, but that’s precisely what made Dazzler a disarming distraction among the other mutant books. And by now you know how I love rooting for the losers.

And lest you doubt my devotion to Ms. Blaire, just see what I spent most of my time doing at this past Comic Con:

That’s right, I spent most of my time in the 50-cent bins, buying every Dazzler I could find (in fact I even accidentally bought two copies of issue #2). I currently have 26 of the 42 issue run, and I can’t wait for next year’s Comic-Con to finish out the collection.

Even better, guess whom I got to sign my (second) copy of Dazzler #1:

That’s right, A-list artist John Romita Jr., co-creator of Kick-Ass, and penciller of Dazzler #1. He let out a loud sarcastic laugh when I brought this in front of him to sign, and then told the person next to him “you know how actors have that one role they really regret having done? This is it.” And then upon asking him for a Dazzler sketch, he refused me. But he did agree to pose for the picture.

In the 80′s Dazzler subsisted as one of the members of the X-Men benchwarmers (the more popular members having moved into X-Factor or were otherwise indisposed), and by the Jim Lee X-Men she joined Longshot in Mojoverse to help free his people, which is the Dazzler we see depicted in this card. She looks pretty badass, and Lee actually seems to have enjoyed drawing her, but man those weapons are ridiculously unnecessary. This is the same girl that (somehow) stood against Hulk, She-Hulk, Galactus, Dr. Doom, and the Enchantress! Maybe those power packs on her are really big speakers. Her Power Ratings show formidable Energy Projection ratings, and 3/7 for Fighting Ability seems to account for her freedom fighter status.

Subject: Magik
Real Name: Illyana Rasputin
Height: 5’5″ Weight: 120 lbs.
First Appearance: Giant-Size X-Men #1, May 1975 (as Illyana), Magik Limited Series #1, December 1983 (as Magik)

Power Ratings:

• Energy Projection: 2/7
• Mental Powers: 2/7
• Strength: 2/7
• Fighting Ability: 5/7
• Intelligence: 2/7

I will admit: my first memory of Illyana Rasputin was in X-Men #20, when it was being revealed that she was the first victim of Stryfe‘s Legacy Virus. Even the concept of New Mutants and Magik was quite foreign to me at the time. Of course she was involved in a storyline right before then (in issues 17 and 18), which I never had (and continue to not) have access to. X-Men #20 was published May 1993, a month after I first arrived as a 9-year-old in the United States. And since comics take a while to have reached the Philippines back then, that explains the gap in my childhood collection.

Magik is again one of those peripheral characters that kind of led the way for the X-Men to get themselves into non-earth non-mutant related adventures, this time around to the realm of dark sorcery with the devil-like villain Belasco. I just recently read this first adventure, wherein a seven-year-old Illyana was kidnapped and returned to Colossus (her brother) having doubled in age, presumably having been confined in the dark realm the entire time and raised to be a dark sorceress. What a terrible way to go through your tweens (okay, the normal way is also pretty terrible).

The card biography refers to the fact that by this point in the continuity Magik had reverted to her 7-year-old self after effectively martyring herself for her fellow New Mutants, so it’s somewhat odd to see portrayed as her Soulsword-wielding, teleporting teenage self. Then again, this section IS called “Ex-X-Men” so I guess it’s okay.

The art in this is satisfactory, with a strong pose (that luckily doesn’t over-sexualize her) making up for the otherwise sparse detailwork. There’s a just-barely comical use of 90′s computer-generated imagery with the coloring of her teleportation disc, which really could’ve been much much worse.

Finally her Power Ratings are confusing; I can’t tell if it’s supposed to be representative of her “current” 7-year-old state, or her teenage state; if the former , a 5/7 in Fighting Ability seems to be stretching it, but if the latter, her Energy Projection rating seems paltry, at least if you’d consider her Soulsword and teleportation discs to be energy projections (I would).

Subject: Longshot
Real Name: Longshot
Height: 6’2″ Weight: 80 lbs.
First Appearance: Longshot Limited Series #1, September 1985

Power Ratings:

• Energy Projection: 1/7
• Mental Powers: 3/7
• Strength: 2/7
• Fighting Ability: 5/7
• Intelligence: 2/7

Whoa, Longshot is only 80 pounds? Those thighs must be filled with helium!

Longshot is one of those character’s that’s just too quirky, too whimsical, and surprisingly, too sincere to hold much cred with fans. It doesn’t help that he looked dated the moment he debuted (created by Art Adams and Ann Nocenti), he wasn’t a mutant (he was a genetically-engineered being for Mojo‘s entertainment), and he had one of those annoyingly cute and vague powers (somehow he is able to alter probability in his favor, aka he’s super lucky).

Given enough time I end up finding myself acting as a defender of such silly characters just for the sake of being different (as a kid I chose Michelangelo because none of the other kids wanted to be the goofy turtle with chainsticks). Longshot isn’t one of my passion projects, but someone very close to him is (you’ll know soon enough if you didn’t already).

Longshot was gone from the X-books when Lee took on X-Men, but he soon reappeared for another quick stint at the Mojoverse, wherein we see him leading a rebellion with his lady love, and I guess it’s that depiction that Lee chose when he decided he was gonna put Longshot in a jetpack. Clearly Lee and co. couldn’t take Longshot at face value either.

I don’t remember if Longshot’s luck had been explained as a psionic ability at this point, but that would be the only way to explain how he has a 3/7 for Mental Powers. His 5/7 for Fighting Ability is apt, as are the rest of the ratings.